It took me 27 years to figure out my purpose. Growing up, I knew I was special. I remember the first time I realized I had a personality. I was five years old and I got sick and had to go to the hospital because I had pneumonia, and had to stay for five days. The first day my whole family was in the hospital with me but after that they all left. At that time my grandfather was driving a red car and I would stare out of the window. Every time I saw a red car, I thought he was coming to visit me but a lot of the time, it wasn't him. I started to get lonely and actually it's the same feeling I can still feel to this day. It was like a feeling of sadness that I couldn't shake. Now that I'm 31 I know what I was feeling. I am an Indigo and empath, so it's very easy for me to feel the saddens around me. I was in a hospital full of sick kids. I felt their pain and they felt minds. So I decided to walk around the hospital and make friends. I end up having a lot in common with the kids that were on my floor. So everyday instead of me focusing on being lonely, I decided to go visit my friends. Actually I also remember the first day I understood what empathy was. When my great grandmother came and got me, I wasn't in my room. But as I just told you, I made friends so I was hanging out with them. But when my grandmother came into the room it looked like something bad had happened to me. All the sheets were off the bed, I wasn't in the room and neither was my stuff. I could here my grandmother call my name, in that call I felt her vibration and she was worried, she thought something happened to me. So I came out the room and I said Gram, I'm right here and she smiled and then asked me why I wasn't in my room. I learned about myself during the time I spent in the hospital. I learned that I enjoyed making people feel better, it was something about sharing your energy to inspire and uplift people that was in my makeup. I could never get around it.
They say the people that have the most pain do the most for the world. Growing up I would always question why my parents were not around, and why my grandparents were taking care of me. When I found out why then I started asking why my parents never came back for me. Then I stop asking and I was just grateful for my grandfather, my great grandmother and all my siblings. Time passes and both my great grandmother and my grandfather passed away. I was diagnosed with lupus when I was eleven. I was put in special education classes when I was in fifth grade and I didn't get out until my freshman year in high school. I have wondered my entire life why my parents never came back for me. All of my siblings grew up apart except for me and my Aunt which is my sister by law. I got to grow upwith her by default because she was my grandfather's daughter so when I moved in with him, I moved in with her as well. Being that I have been spiritually gifted my whole life it took me a while to learn how to use my spiritual abilities. I use to think I was alone and that nobody could seem to understand me. I use to be mad at the universe for taking my great grandmother and my grandfather away from me. Although life was difficult at times having them around made everything better, having them in my life was my paradise. Being able to walk into a room and see them both was my heaven. We only got a short amount of time together but it was well spent and I will miss them for all the days of my life. They showed me how to love unconditionally and be the person I am today. I think about them all the time and I look forward to the day I see them again.
My lupus gives me two choices, I can live my life in a way where I'm balanced mentally, physically and spiritually. Or I can let things I can't control break my balance and then I start to get sick. My lupus is my achilles' heel. If I don't keep myself balanced, it can be my demise. So everyday I have to live out my truth, I have to make sure I'm good to myself and others. At 31, I have made my mistakes. I have almost messed up my entire life and I got to understand how easy it is to lose focus. I know now that my mother and my father love me. They had to live out their journey and find their way through life and I respect that. Over time I have learned to use my spiritual abilities. I understand the difference between sprint and ego and I also understand that I'm connected to everything that our creator created. I still feel sadness and it's not just my sadness it's the sadness of the planet. The onlyway I can shake that feeling is by doing something to change this world for the better.
KoolforLife was created out of pain and joy, I felt like I needed to create a platform where people could come together through unconditional love and spirit. Then we could use that unity and power to change this world for the better. We are all on individual journeys that will one day lead to the same place. We can't change this world individually, only together. I forgave my parents because not forgiving is like walking around with weights on your ankles. When you start to take accountability over your reality you start to understand that people will mess up and make mistakes. All though those mistakes may hurt you they are needed for that persons growth. I don't believe in bad days anymore. It's like this if you wake up and your day doesn't go as planned it is still a blessing. Why because you learned something and you can take that information and add to yourself. When you wake up and everything goes your way then it was a blessing as well. If you can learn to view life like that then you will start to understand that you don't have to die to go to heaven. You just have to shift your consciousness.
Once you do that you will start to see the beauty that's around you. It took me 31 years to fully take accountability over my life. Now that I have, I appreciate my parents more. I'm more grateful and thankful for my grandparents and all my siblings. I don't hold anything against anybody, everything played out exactly how it was suppose to play out. I never had bad days, I had learning experiences that made me better. The good days were created from being thankful and grateful and living in the moment. I have been blessed before I arrived on this planet and I will blessedafter I leave this planet. You know all the pain and the joy mixed together made me the person I am. This is is the reason why I want the love in my heart to shine on billions. This is why I have empathy for all and I know my spirit is connected to everything our creator created. Experience has taught me that once I changed my thought process my reality changed. I have been planting seeds since I arrived here and as time passes my seeds are growing into beautiful plants and flowers. I want to change this world for the better because I can feel the pain but I can also feel the joy. I can feel the unconditional love in people's spirits and I just want to shine my spirit on everybody that needs my light. I am connected to an unlimited energy source. I remember the bad days and this why I want to be their for others that might not have had support I have. They might not know how great they are, they might not remember how divine their spirits are. So it's my job to remind them that they are never alone and there are people like myself all over the world that love them. I have also learned that your spirit can manifest anything you focus your thoughts on, that be good things or bad. Just know that your reality will depend upon you being able to control your thoughts, words and actions. The universe gives to people that are genuinelygrateful for all that they already have. So make sure you thankour Creator and your spirit for everything that you have. You don't have to ask for anything, just manifest it. If you're lost and you lack direction, remember your navigational system is your spirit. Learn to quiet your mind and allow your spirit to guide you.