Guest writer: DreamyPisces
I want to share a little of my story with you with hopes that you will be comforted in knowing that it’s another person in this world that has had many struggles through a lot of trial and error. I have been on my path towards healing for almost 4 years now and I finally feel bold enough to be expressive about where I came from and what I have done to heal myself.
Mental illness plagues millions of people in one form or another. Statistics show that 1 in 4 people suffer from mental illnesses which equates to about 450 million people. That’s a lot! Those figures show that we have a really big problem going on in the world. We are taught how to go to school, get a “good” job, how to procreate and spend. We were never taught a class on how to love ourselves and to heal ourselves.
I had to learn on my own with the help of some great motivational speakers such as Les Brown and dear friends that support me. If you don’t know who Les Brown is, I recommend that you find out. He focuses a lot on helping people to reach their dreams and to also deal with the past. I can hear his voice right now as I type this, “DON’T FORGET ABOUT YOUR DREAM…YOU HAVE TO BE HUNGRY!!” Les Brown is right. In order to heal you must be hungry for change.
Mental illness strips away all desires to create change. What actually ends up happening is that you end up laying in mental quicksand which succumbs you. Your quicksand can be the negative voice in your head that tells you that you are worthless. It can be the tape that continues to play in your head over and over again of past experiences, trauma and let downs caused by others. Your quicksand can be caused by the death of a loved one. We all say that the good ones are taken too soon and the evil ones get to stay here and prosper. Mental illness can cause physical ailments such as muscle soreness, stomach discomforts, migraine headaches and lethargy.
Mental quicksand can force you to become more and more introverted where it becomes difficult to even leave the house on some days. When you do interact with people and you have mental quick sand in you, you can be filled with so much anxiety but you may mask it with a smile. On the inside you could have a tsunami of emotions and nervous energy swirling within you but no one knows but you. Do you cry in silence because you are afraid to share your vulnerability to others? I know that feeling.
The worst part about mental illness is that voice that comes in…you know that voice, the one that says “Kill yourself, no one loves you anyway, everyone is better off without you.” That voice plagued me for majority of my life until I realized my inner power. One day I woke up and I said “ENOUGH!!” to that voice in my head and I decided to fight back. No more suicidal thoughts or attempts. I had to make that decision for myself but it took a long time to get there because death seemed so much better than actually living. The crazy thing was that though I was scared to live, I was kind of scared to die also. I used to hope I would just pass away in my sleep. I asked God many times to take my life. Only to continue to wake up day after day.
Many people deal with their mental illness by overeating, drinking excessive alcohol, shopping, sex, smoking cigarettes, taking pills or doing anything they can to escape the claws of their depressed reality. Of course these are only temporary fixes and they never really help, they just suck you deeper into the quicksand. I could go into all of the reasons why I was so depressed but this blog would be 100 pages long so I will spare you. But what I do want to share with you is how I finally found some concrete ways to alleviate my depression. I found the cure for myself and I will share my secrets with you. When we find helpful ways to help ourselves it’s important to share those techniques with others to create the global healing that we all need.
Today on the brink of my 38th birthday, I feel more balanced and confident within myself. I realize that the voice that used to summons my mind into the darkness was nothing more than a program. It was a program that was created throughout my life from circumstances created from family, friends, media outlets as well as my own actions. Unfortunately those closest to me couldn’t heal me so I had to learn how to heal myself.
I want to encourage you. If you are reading this right now and you feel lost, unsure, with a lack of confidence I have to give you a wake up call. My friend, SAVE YOURSELF. You have to save yourself. There are people who will throw you a life preserver but you have to be the one to grab on to it to live. But what if you don’t have anyone around you to throw you a life preserver? What if you don’t have anyone to encourage you? You will have to encourage yourself. That sounds like a crappy deal huh? Well, maybe but in the end you have to be able to control your own thoughts and actions. No one can do that for you. Let’s get started.
#1 SEEK THERAPY
If you feel that you are sinking deeper and deeper into your mental quicksand, it’s time to get help. I found that on my healing journey that it was imperative that I release my emotions verbally to a therapist. She was a little sweet lady who was there to listen. She would ask me probing questions to help me to figure this out within myself. Make sure you find a therapist that you feel comfortable with. If you start therapy and you don’t feel like you are getting good vibes from your doctor, find another doctor until you are comfortable. Remember this is about YOU not them. Be open and honest. I found that in my healing, being transparent helped me to release. It helped me to get things out that I had carried within myself for years.
Be open and trust yourself and know that seeking therapy is a huge step towards transforming your life. Psychiatrists and Psychologist will probably recommend prescription drugs to you in many cases especially if your depression or mental aliment is severe. I feel that medication is sometimes okay as a temporary fix to help to stabilize you but we have the power to heal our minds without substances. I used meds for a time and then I took myself off because I felt that I was strong enough and I had learned how to calm myself when my triggers were hit. I’m not recommending you to quit your meds. That’s what worked for me and you have to find what works for you. Just be honest in the process and be open and know that you are strong with or without the crutch of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers.
#2 REPROGRAM YOUR THOUGHTS
Did you know that you can actually change your entire mindset from negative to positive? In the past my negative thought patterns ruled my life, most thoughts were telling me that I was no good and they focused on everything I ever did that was wrong instead of the things that I was doing right. It all starts when you go to bed at night and when you wake up in the morning. If you wake up and the first thought is “I hate my life…I’m tired…I wish this day was over already…etc.” then it’s time to start reprogramming your mind. This is not something that will happen overnight and in all actuality your mind and heart will be resistant to the positive voice that you have to start projecting and affirming in your life. When you go to bed at night say something to the nature of, “I release my stress and depression, I release my inner pain. I am healed and I am whole. I love myself, I forgive myself and I will rest peacefully on this night”. As you awaken in the morning, in spite of what you may physically feel say, “I arise with energy and self-love. I am positive, I can do this. I am strong I am healed on this day.”
The point is that you must take the time to reprogram your thoughts with strong I AM statements. Something as simple as an affirmation that says “I AM STRONG” can change your entire day and in time it will change your entire life. Do this over and over again. Instead of saying “I am a failure, I can’t do anything right” you must say “I am healing, I am loving and I am capable of greatness no matter what!” I am a witness and this works if you continue to do it daily. There are no days off in your healing journey. You must fight for your sanity because the enemy within is always waiting to pounce back on you. You must remain diligent in your mind.
#3 WRITE IN A JOURNAL
Sometimes we can’t find someone to listen to our laundry list of problems so a great way to express your feelings is to write them in a journal. I have been journaling since I was 13 years old. I always felt like my journal was like a friend where I could pour my heart into the pages. I would pour out all the good, bad and ugly into those pages. I would cry and write, just trying to expel my confusion and depression into those pages. Journaling is so powerful because it helps you to get it out. You may not get full relief but writing is extremely therapeutic. Get some colorful pens, markers or colored pencils and add drawings and artwork to your entries because that also helps to stimulate creativity. It’s healing in creativity. Write notes to yourself. Write notes to others. Write notes to your future spouse and children.
It may seem silly because these people may not exist yet but do it anyway. Write down your wants and needs. Write about what you like about yourself. Write about where you would like to travel. Dream and dream big. Write down specific affirmations for yourself. Write down your goals. When you write things down you are actually creating an energy source which can attract your wants and needs towards you. Write, breathe and release.
#4 CONFRONT WHO HAS HURT YOU
This is really difficult. But I have to tell you that you must come face to face with the big bad wolf, whatever that may be to you. It could be a parent, an abuser, a bully, a teacher, a friend, a deceased loved one or it could be yourself. Now, you can confront the person face to face and tell them how you feel but I must warn you, you may not get the response that you are hoping for and that other person may not change for the better. That’s the downside. But the upside of having a confrontation is that you are finally standing up for yourself and you are releasing your pain. It’s all about the RELEASE. You have to get that stuff out of you! Write them a letter and read it to them, you could mail it, read it over the phone or if you are unable to do either one of those options you can write a letter and then burn it or cut it into a million tiny pieces after you read it aloud into the atmosphere. As you cut or burn it say, “I forgive you and myself and I release you from my mind and my heart in peace.”
Chains will fall off of you even though you may feel sick and nervous while doing this. If you choose to do a face to face confrontation, have your words written so you won’t forget what you have to say. REMEMBER this is for YOU, this is for your release so even if they don’t respond in the way you hope, know that you did your part to assist with freeing and healing your soul and accept the gift of peace within from this release. You are brave and you can do this…you have to if you want to take your life to a more positive level. Ignoring the issues will never heal you.
#5 GET HEALTHY
My favorite thing to do is to go for a long walk in nature. Nature heals me. When I’m stressed I go to the gym and I work out more focused and can lift more because I am transmuting that negative energy into a positive activity that will strengthen me. I personally decided to let meat go from my diet because I was able to make the connection that meat made me more depressed. As those hormones from meat were removed from my bloodstream I automatically started to feel better. Exercise your body, mind and spirit. Sweat out the toxins. Dance, laugh, paint, write, sing…do whatever it takes to create positive energy around you.
Bob Marley said “One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” Find some music that soothes you.
I enjoy instrumentals, such as meditation music. I enjoy positive artists which are sharing love and not spewing more negativity and hate. Music can heal you. Get healthy by being with those who encourage you to be your best. Be with those that can make you laugh. Listen to motivational podcasts. Start reading books to help to exercise your brain. Turn the TV off because the shows that are being played normally are not helpful at all towards your healing. You see we must replace all negative forces with positive ones and we must be intentional towards our healing. Move your body, exercise your brain and breathe deeply with your hand over your heart to energize your spirit.
I want to thank you for being you. I want you to know that you are not a mistake. You are here for a great reason you just have to figure out what that reason is. We have all been gifted with greatness inside but if that greatness isn’t cultivated within, it will continue to lie dormant and depression and other mental illnesses will ensure. It’s time for you to break this cycle and you can.
If I can do it so can you! If no one told you today, I love you. I’m able to love you because I learned to love myself. Dry your tears my friend because you are stronger than you know. Once you get to a point in your healing where you feel strong, all I ask of you is to share it with someone else. Tell your story when you are ready. Someone needs to know that they are not alone. Use your life as a platform to help to heal all the other broken souls that you may come in contact with. I hope you will share your story with them but let them know that they must go on the journey on their own just like you did. We all have the power but we must have the desire and the courage to change and to stick with it. We must stick with it even when people aren’t cheering us on or giving us a pat on the back. The enemy within will always be there waiting in the shadows to remind you of everything you did wrong. One day you will stand boldly and declare, “I REJECT THAT THOUGHT! That is not who I am, I know who I am. I know myself and I love myself…enemy you no longer have power over me! And just like that the enemy will flee. Do this over and over again.
You have to become a warrior for self within your own mind. The more that you know yourself the less people will be able to tell you about who you are. No matter what you have done, and no matter what you went through, you can be free within. You deserve peace. It’s time to stand up and walk out of the quicksand into healing green pastures that are waiting for you. Take the first step today. Be courageous. This is your book of life. Take back the pen and write it how you want to write it. Be well and I pray for peace to abide in your heart, mind and soul on your journey towards healing. You are never alone.
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